I have always been an advocate of self improvement, always pushing to get what I want and trying to thrive no matter what the obstacle is. I like to see who I might become every time I surpassed a challenge. I am not the type to quit that easily, and certainly not the kind to be affected by measly(lol jk) ‘workload’.
Years ago, I created this blog to document my journey of being an introvert because that certain trait is my insecurity. I have a hard time navigating my life ever since college and especially after several traumatic experiences. Now that I’m – I am not happy about this – “older”, I realized that my introvertedness is not an insecurity that caused my struggles as an adult, surprise surprise, its my ‘trauma’. That blog documentation, obviously, I have forgotten about it, my work and responsibilities has took up all my time that I wasn’t able to continue or write anything until last year, so I’m trying again.
Anyway, how does this relates to my statement and my main sentiment on the title? Well it’s honestly nothing big, I just resigned from my work with no back up plan. I think you can already guess the sentiment behind my title, if not, read on. For my introvert paragraph, I will expound that further later.
Going back, the first and second quarter of my 2026 has been EXHAUSTING – but still fulfilling 🙂 This year I got to introduce and put my innovative ideas go live that makes our work process more streamlined and compliant. I have also lead several projects and one of them being the biggest one which is the reorganization of the company in whole Europe – I will call it ERP (Europe reorg project). As the ERP lead, I spearheaded the process workflow, allocation of tasks, alignment and updating of hiring templates and email verbiage, data reporting, training, workload monitoring, weekly/daily check in for work bottlenecks and feedback. I even provided RCA to some escalations we received during that time period. Basically, it was a roller coaster ride that while it has tested my limit in heavy workload and leadership, I think it has really paid off because in less than a year of working in that company, I have already gained the recognition of my stakeholders and leaders. I am not pining for it if I’ll be honest, but I am still proud of it because I know I worked hard all throughout the ERP project. I did not half-assed my work, nor did I let my internal struggles relent me from successfully completing this project. I made sure to extend any help I can provide to my colleagues who’s supporting the project and made sure any urgent cases are tended to and closely monitored. I really gave my exceptional effort – I do deserve the recognition and I’m thankful for my stakeholders for acknowledging that long before my managers did. It really was an exciting yet exhausting quarters of my 2026, I was already thriving, and this is no small company, it’s a massive multinational company that is not only big but also one of the staple mark in Filipino culture. It’s pretty well known globally. It was not an easy decision for me to resign. I did not just realize that overnight, it’s a well thought of decision that I had to think over and over and over and over again – a painful one but a must decision for the sake of my sanity.
Despite on what I would call a successful feat, I still resigned – this is where I will expound the introvert paragraph. Since my first week as a new hire, my manager is already providing feedback on my personality i.e. me being introvert. He was apparently concerned whether I will fit in just fine with the team, but this is not what got me to resign. It’s the enduring 1-whole year of repeated feedback on my personality whenever I raise work concerns about my workload and my colleague who does not do her part of the work, worse is, that specific colleague keeps on escalating me and sending screenshots to my manager whenever I try to help her – I never said anything that is below the belt, all my words were all professional, my manager even acknowledged this, despite that, my manager’s still main concern is my personality being too strong hence why that certain colleague feels uncomfortable. Just thinking about it makes me have a deep anxiety again on my stomach, it feels like I was bullied and abused at work. No one will have the same thought as I did because all of them are close and my manager favor those who are more outgoing, but that’s what I really felt. It has taken most of my sleeps, sanity, and it gnawed deep on me and my anxiety that it pushed me back again to my depressive and self harming thoughts – that’s when I decided I had to draw the line. They tried to negotiate with me, they offered sabbatical leave or have one of my colleague to cover some of the work in our region, neither worked for me because – one, taking a sabbatical leave means I will go back with the same team, my main concern of my workload and colleague is still not addressed. Two, having a colleague take all the work makes it seems like I’m incapable of helping a fellow colleague (as if over functioning is not enough). From the start, they’re already making it seem like I’m incapable of working well with the team (remember my managers concern on my first week as new hire?), even when the concern is only with that colleague who doesn’t do their work, which in turn I’m left to clean up for them, it’s exhausting, and yet they still frame it as rapport issue, as in me not being able to work well with my colleagues because I’m an introvert. That repeated dig is what got me, because it made me feel like an outcast, and in turn has really triggered my trauma.
There’s more stories about that, more instances where I was attacked and isolated, it’s a year of anxiety I endured. I still cry when I think about it, it’s both the pain of enduring those 1-whole year and the pain of leaving my stakeholders whom I’ve really grown attached to. I was good and thriving at my work, the possibilities from that feat was really painful to let go.
I am scared, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get in a good company again, whether I will make the same impact again, more importantly, I don’t know if I’ll find the same joy at my work again. I love process improvements and project management, and I hope to get that same opportunity again in a good company with a good organization.
I really am so scared, but at the other end of the thread, I am also hopeful. I am taking therapy whilst resting. I don’t know how this move will play out for me, but I guess we’ll know months later whether I will burn or thrive.
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